I haven't shared yet, but last week I found out my first page was chosen to move on to the next round in the Killer Voices competition through Love Inspired Suspense at Harlequin. My dream publisher. The only dream I have ever had for my writing.
Ever since I wrote my first word my dream has been to sell a book to Harlequin. A few times I have been 'this' close, but I've always let life and my fear get in the way. Every time I start to write again I tell myself I'm not going to let anything stop me this time. Yet here I am struggling so much with this story. Not because I don't have the ideas, but because I keep second guessing myself. It has to be PERFECT. If it's not perfect no one will ever buy it... no one will ever like it... or you. That is my brain on writing. Basically, I have two ideas. The idea I started with and another idea that I keep wondering if the editor would like better. My first idea is about made up royalty. I know the line does some royalty stories, so it could work, right? That's the thought that keeps going through my head. It could work... but what if they'd like something a little different. Instead of a princess on the run, how about just a regular person. A regular woman on the run might be a little easier to 'sell'... maybe a princess is not what they'd be looking for. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
It all boils down to my brain trying to come up with the perfect idea that has the best chance of actually being loved by the editor. Part of me already knows I just need to write the story that is in my head and trust that it will all work. Easier said than done. I want this so bad. I want my dream. So... I have until Monday to write my synopsis for the next round. I have a very rough draft of it, but some major struggle going on to finish it when I haven't convinced myself which story idea I'm going with... and which hero to put in that story.
At least I've finally named the poor guy. I think...
Wishing the best of luck to all the other writers who are also moving on to the next stage. Good luck with all those synopses! ( I looked up the plural. :) so hope that's right.)
Back to struggling...
2 comments:
There are times I have the same problem, but that's when I meet with one of my friends and we brainstorm. It works every time for me. Good luck. I'll be watching and rooting you on. Now put the fears aside and let those fingers do the running. :-)
Thank you, Carolyn!! These are the times I really miss having the writing friends and groups. It's a good time for me though, I think, to really learn that I can trust myself to come up with what I need to and to stop constantly seeking the approval of everyone else. Not that it's a bad thing, but it can really mess up the writing process.
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